Providence

God works in mysterious and amazing ways. All year long He has shown me that just when I'm disappointed about thwarted dreams or plans He has a better way (and His way is always better even if it momentary doesn't appear so).

Last week I was looking forward to going to Oklahoma to visit family and watch the Sooners play. Then I got the nasty cold that's going around town. I was feeling so miserable (in addition to the brain injury) that I decided not to make the journey across the country. I was disappointed but I knew that my body would thank me for not abusing it. Frustrated with myself, I asked God why I never seem to improve and why He had once again prevented me from doing something I'd love to do.

Just one day later my new eye doctor unexpectedly called and invited me to his clinic on Saturday to meet with a brain specialist who had flown in from Texas for the weekend. The specialist had come to train the therapists working with me. I was excited because my eye doctor had told me before that this doctor from Texas, Dr. Collier, is amazing and has helped so many people.

So on Saturday Aunt Stephanie (in loco parentis) and I headed over to the eye clinic and spent an hour and a half with Dr. Collier. What a remarkable doctor! He took a few measurements of my eyes and was able to tell me things about myself that no one other than friends and family would know! He also knew exactly all the symptoms I've experienced in the last year. It was very encouraging. He showed me and the therapists all sorts of exercises to use in rehabilitating the brain. I felt very fortunate to have individual attention from such a knowledgeable doctor. I have a lot of work to do but at least I'm making progress. When I left the clinic I felt different. Not only was I encouraged by what the doctor had to say, my brain and eyes felt better.

Interestingly, the most consistent message I receive from every single doctor I've seen is how vital the mind is in healing the body. Every doctor I've been to has told me that my mind has to believe it will be healed and then it will happen. This made me think of Mark 11:23-24 where Jesus tells us that anything for which we ask and pray, if we believe that we have received it, it shall be granted us. The mind is so incredibly powerful and we haven't even begun to understand just how complex it is.

Hindsight is 20/20 and sometimes it's not until after we experience a disappointment that we realize God was working. Getting a cold and staying at home was a major disappointment but God gave me something so much more important: the opportunity to see an amazing doctor and encouragement for healing. I can now look back and marvel that if I had gone to Oklahoma as I had wished, I would have missed the opportunity to work with Dr. Collier. (And I think hearing Boomer Sooner 3,000 times during the game might have pushed me over the edge anyway.) So God knows what He's doing. And I'm glad He's in charge instead of me.